It's been quite a long time since I made a journal entry thingy here. But oh well, I'll just say in this space, how my life have been these past days...

First thing is, our family is facing a money crisis. It's really something that you can label "soon to be hopeless". And I am planning to work, just to help my mom to earn extra money for her. You may not believe it, but I may be going to college in CSB, but the thing is, we're really in this state. Honestly, it's the worst money crisis we had in our whole life. Poverty really reigned here in the Philippines, and it's really as dire as you can imagine.

Next thing is, I realized my mistakes as a person. I mean -coz I tend to blame a lot, when I'm the one in control of my own words, actions and decisions. As well as, I tend to be such a big paranoid, when I can just make things easier for mind to handle. I tend to be too anxious, jealous and impulsive -which is totally bad. So I really had to lower down myself, and correct the wrong patches.

Another thing is, I realized that I'm not yet in love with this special person that I really love. It seems that I just love him sooo much as a friend, and not as something else. Well, I may say that if there would really be a chance, I'll really love him, but he loves somebody else dearly, so I wouldn't want to butt in and destroy anything -especially our friendship. The thing is, it was just yesterday, when I finally caught the fact that he is my "special friend". Well, it helped me a lot -I'm really thankful.
Although how I really wish that life still lingered in him, coz it was really that fun and so. It was the first infatuation that felt so close to the way of commitment -to tell the truth. But as I said, well he loves somebody else, I guess that's what I should just keep in mind, to not regret anything. But he's still the best in my heart -as my husband. Forever and ever, AMEN.